Really, really short one about a ‘weapon’ so great, yet so few know how to use it [or are even too proud to do so].
I’m talking about the ability to being ‘un-okay’, something that the late, great Jim Camp taught in his excellent book ‘Start with no’. Basically, the idea is to make the other party, whether it is your customer, your negotiating counterpart or anyone else whose deal you’d like, feel like they’re above you. By being a little clumsy. By making your appearance a little less appealing than them. That doesn’t mean acting like an unprofessional. That doesn’t mean showing up, not taking care of yourself. But, it means that you allow some imperfections to take place.
For instance, perhaps you do not wear a tie if you’re wearing a suit. Maybe you roll up your sleeves a little. Maybe you spill something on the floor. Maybe you consciously say something that makes the other party feel like they know more about things than you – just to make them talk.
Not in an evil way.
But in a smart way.
It’s all about swinging that emotional pendulum. Arouse some excitement with the other party. Once you have done so, they’re more likely to start talking.
Case in point; I deliberately made a statement about something that I knew was controversial with the other party. I framed it in a way that made the actual topic seem like it was set in stone by everyone – which wasn’t the case. Hence, the other party started talking about everyone and their mother with respect to this particular topic, all whilst doing his best to ‘school me’ and in so doing, revealed a lot of useful information.
It wasn’t to make the other party look bad.
I just needed more information.
And, I wanted their Energy.
In that exchange, who really *had* the upper hand, energy wise? I was just sitting there, being told a lot of useful stuff that I had a great advantage of knowing, whilst the other party was happy ‘taking me to school.’ There are certain times when this principle works, there are certain times it doesn’t.
One thing is – it *has* to be real. And it *has* to be authentic.
You cannot fake it.
If you’re looking to take energy from people, you must be willing to face emotions. And happily so. All whilst making the other ones think they are teaching you something.
But, who’s teaching who?
Think about it.
Anyway, so that’s all I got for today.
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